Post-Birthday Thoughts
Ano ang pakiramdam na 20 years old na ako?
Sobrang daming taong nagtanong sa akin n’yan. Template question ba ‘yan kapag nawawala na sa teens ang isang tao?
So--- anong meron ang taong 20?!? (wahaha…ang korni)
Wala lang. Ano ba dapat ang pakiramdam? Iba ba dapat?
Sabi ko kay Panggs, when I woke up on the day of my birthday, I felt excited and overwhelmed by the fact that I’m 20 already. But I’m not really sure of the things I am entitled to do now that I’m “past my teens” (nyahaha). It is a little scary, especially with graduation coming up (next year) and all the other stuff I got myself busy with.
But seriously speaking--- however mushy and crappy this may sound, I had only one thing in mind now that I’m 20…
I WANT TO KNOW WHO I REALLY AM.
Crap, noh? 20 years, and I still don’t know who I am. Pero seryoso, I want to have focus. I want to know what I really want, why I am like this, I want to understand myself. It feels kinda weird--- it’s like loving someone na hindi mo pa naman lubusang kilala. Pakiramdam ko kasi kaya ako nagkakaroon ng mga shit moments sa buhay ko eh dahil hindi ko kasi alam kung sino ba talaga ako, ano bang buhay ang gusto ko at ano ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.
But you know what really sucks?
It’s the fact that last Friday, the day of my birthday, I’ve witnessed how much the people around me cares for me, and loves me. Yet, I can’t really show them who I really am, not because I’m afraid to do so, but because I really don’t know the real person to show them. Gaya nga ng sinabi ko two entries ago, there are a lot of things about me that I don’t share with other people--- and every other person I know knows a different part of me.
Frankly, I want to end that shit already.
Alam ko naman na pagka-graduate ko, I have the sole responsibility of taking care of myself. Wala na yung protection na nandiyan naman lagi ang parents ko, ang barkada ko and all those people who aided me as a teenager.
Frankly still, I don’t know where and how to start.
But I must say, the more than one hour I spent inside the Adoration Chapel helped me a lot.
Oh God. Help me get through this.
---
Anong meron sa taong 20 at parang binabalikan ako ng aking mga past endeavors?!?
Oops--- teka teka, bago niyo isipin na nagmamaganda na naman ako…kaklaruhin ko lang ang aking statement--- with binabalikan, I mean nasesense ko ulit sila. With nasesense, I mean nakikita, nakakausap, okay?
Johan. Backseat. Kessy.
Unahin natin si Johan. Grabe grabe, nung sinabi sa akin ni Chal na nakita niya si Johan sa TV (sa opening ng UAAP), ginive ko ang mest ko para makita ko siya. Lo and behold, nung game ng Ateneo, kasama na siya sa first five! Oha, ibang level na siya! Pero yun nga, he was able to contribute a mere one point sa score ng Blue Eagles. Still…makikita ko na ulit siya! Haay…
Backseat. In fairness ha, madalas ko na siyang nakikita. At sabi nga N’ya tuwing dumarating si Backseat, “O, ‘yung mahal mo parating…” wahaha. Well, still looking perfectly hot as ever parin siya, at may kilig factor pa rin everytime he talks to me. Sabi naman nitong si Bosing Olan ko, parang halos pareho lang sila ng kalibre ni Ano--- sabi ko hindi kaya! Lamang man si Backseat ng ilang paligo, ng ilang talino, ng ilang freethrows, ng ilang bisita sa gym, at ng ilang “finer things in life” na gusto ko, may isang bagay parin na mahalaga na wala si Backseat na nasa Kanya--- isipin n’yo kung ano ‘yun! Wahahaha!
At si Kessy--- haay, siguro dahil two days lang ang pagitan ng aming mga birthdays, sobrang swak kami sa ugali. Yung pagiging emotional, sensitive and affectionate, ginigive din niya ang best niya dun. Hindi ba naming maintindihan, pero ako personally, I feel so comfortable talking to him.
Owell owell--- there they are. Ewan ko ba, baka sinasabi ni Papa God, marami pang options hija. ‘Wag kang magpakabaliw sa isa. Hahahahaha!
---
May bago na akong addiction--- Veronica Mars. Ang ganda ng kwento sobra. Lufet ng script. Salamat sa BC 130. Pramis.
Pero bago ‘yun, sana ilabas na yung DVD ng Bench Understatement Show. Wahaha!
---
Speaking of Bench, nakakainis talaga itong si Mariel Rodriguez. Naku naku, nakakainis talaga ‘yung paglalandi niya kay Zanjoe ha! Tsk, kung hindi lang talaga siya maganda! Lamang lang siya ng ilang paligo sa akin, akala mo na kung sino!
Mariel--- akin si Zanjoe!
---
Ngayong 20 na ako, I gotta be--- BOLDER and WISER. Magiging BITCHIER ba ako? We’ll see.
Sobrang daming taong nagtanong sa akin n’yan. Template question ba ‘yan kapag nawawala na sa teens ang isang tao?
So--- anong meron ang taong 20?!? (wahaha…ang korni)
Wala lang. Ano ba dapat ang pakiramdam? Iba ba dapat?
Sabi ko kay Panggs, when I woke up on the day of my birthday, I felt excited and overwhelmed by the fact that I’m 20 already. But I’m not really sure of the things I am entitled to do now that I’m “past my teens” (nyahaha). It is a little scary, especially with graduation coming up (next year) and all the other stuff I got myself busy with.
But seriously speaking--- however mushy and crappy this may sound, I had only one thing in mind now that I’m 20…
I WANT TO KNOW WHO I REALLY AM.
Crap, noh? 20 years, and I still don’t know who I am. Pero seryoso, I want to have focus. I want to know what I really want, why I am like this, I want to understand myself. It feels kinda weird--- it’s like loving someone na hindi mo pa naman lubusang kilala. Pakiramdam ko kasi kaya ako nagkakaroon ng mga shit moments sa buhay ko eh dahil hindi ko kasi alam kung sino ba talaga ako, ano bang buhay ang gusto ko at ano ba talaga ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko.
But you know what really sucks?
It’s the fact that last Friday, the day of my birthday, I’ve witnessed how much the people around me cares for me, and loves me. Yet, I can’t really show them who I really am, not because I’m afraid to do so, but because I really don’t know the real person to show them. Gaya nga ng sinabi ko two entries ago, there are a lot of things about me that I don’t share with other people--- and every other person I know knows a different part of me.
Frankly, I want to end that shit already.
Alam ko naman na pagka-graduate ko, I have the sole responsibility of taking care of myself. Wala na yung protection na nandiyan naman lagi ang parents ko, ang barkada ko and all those people who aided me as a teenager.
Frankly still, I don’t know where and how to start.
But I must say, the more than one hour I spent inside the Adoration Chapel helped me a lot.
Oh God. Help me get through this.
---
Anong meron sa taong 20 at parang binabalikan ako ng aking mga past endeavors?!?
Oops--- teka teka, bago niyo isipin na nagmamaganda na naman ako…kaklaruhin ko lang ang aking statement--- with binabalikan, I mean nasesense ko ulit sila. With nasesense, I mean nakikita, nakakausap, okay?
Johan. Backseat. Kessy.
Unahin natin si Johan. Grabe grabe, nung sinabi sa akin ni Chal na nakita niya si Johan sa TV (sa opening ng UAAP), ginive ko ang mest ko para makita ko siya. Lo and behold, nung game ng Ateneo, kasama na siya sa first five! Oha, ibang level na siya! Pero yun nga, he was able to contribute a mere one point sa score ng Blue Eagles. Still…makikita ko na ulit siya! Haay…
Backseat. In fairness ha, madalas ko na siyang nakikita. At sabi nga N’ya tuwing dumarating si Backseat, “O, ‘yung mahal mo parating…” wahaha. Well, still looking perfectly hot as ever parin siya, at may kilig factor pa rin everytime he talks to me. Sabi naman nitong si Bosing Olan ko, parang halos pareho lang sila ng kalibre ni Ano--- sabi ko hindi kaya! Lamang man si Backseat ng ilang paligo, ng ilang talino, ng ilang freethrows, ng ilang bisita sa gym, at ng ilang “finer things in life” na gusto ko, may isang bagay parin na mahalaga na wala si Backseat na nasa Kanya--- isipin n’yo kung ano ‘yun! Wahahaha!
At si Kessy--- haay, siguro dahil two days lang ang pagitan ng aming mga birthdays, sobrang swak kami sa ugali. Yung pagiging emotional, sensitive and affectionate, ginigive din niya ang best niya dun. Hindi ba naming maintindihan, pero ako personally, I feel so comfortable talking to him.
Owell owell--- there they are. Ewan ko ba, baka sinasabi ni Papa God, marami pang options hija. ‘Wag kang magpakabaliw sa isa. Hahahahaha!
---
May bago na akong addiction--- Veronica Mars. Ang ganda ng kwento sobra. Lufet ng script. Salamat sa BC 130. Pramis.
Pero bago ‘yun, sana ilabas na yung DVD ng Bench Understatement Show. Wahaha!
---
Speaking of Bench, nakakainis talaga itong si Mariel Rodriguez. Naku naku, nakakainis talaga ‘yung paglalandi niya kay Zanjoe ha! Tsk, kung hindi lang talaga siya maganda! Lamang lang siya ng ilang paligo sa akin, akala mo na kung sino!
Mariel--- akin si Zanjoe!
---
Ngayong 20 na ako, I gotta be--- BOLDER and WISER. Magiging BITCHIER ba ako? We’ll see.
posted by izzie at
6:49 PM
1 Comments:
uy, belated. sorry wiz ko knows.
By
Anonymous, at 7:14 AM
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